just when you think im all it..

ive been feeling dreamy all day and it got me thinking bout everything and anything that`s around me. when they say "new enviroment, new life, new start, new beginning"... well, i personally think its pretty much the same, mentally.

i may be in a more comfortable zone now, yet i feel threaten in some way or another. it feels like you just won the lottery but you dun know how much you won. or someone once told you something but cant keep on to their words. someone told me that im taking everything too seriously, and i need to loosen up a little.. maybe its true.. i need to live to learn, not crash and burn.

if you know me, personally, you`ll know that i learned things the hard way. though it hurts a lot looking back but all that experience didnt go ashtray. and i know there`s still gonna be a lot more hiccups along the journey, thats why i plan.

correct me if im wrong, but thing always doesnt turn out to be as planned but yet ppl still does it. you might have heard this a million times.. "planning and actually doing it is a two different thing". i have to agree with that, unfortunately.

ive been planning all this while and look where it got me. sometimes when you think all that extra effort doesnt matter...think again. i actually crossed off at least half of my to-do-in-5-years-time list and i hope my next to-do-in-another-5 years plan wouldnt be any less than the last. i cant say im happy with it but yet i cant say im not at the same time. sometimes, i think you just got to step back a little and look at the big picture for once..

im just like anyone else, im not exceptionally "intelligent" or whatever you people call it these days..



.........i want my future. do you?