Christmas Postponed

Last year, i was exchanging gifts but this year i am only exchanging emails, on Christmas Day. So, i think im just going to skip this year`s and celebrate it altogether next year. I am sitting in my cubicle and i dont know what to do and i think there is nothing much i can do, since its a festive season for all ang moh`s, which so happens to be on my sales territories that celebrates Christmas.. hence im writing this shit. Ah well... I guess this is going to be the last post for 2008, which turned out not to be a bad year after all.

this year, i....

.. quit cigarettes
.. managed to control my alcohol intakes
.. didn't gain weight at all, just like any other miserable years
.. kept my hair short all year long
.. tried going on dates, multiple
.. tried getting out of multiple dates

... i think i`ve done good. enough.

ATTENTION

pictures will be officially be posted on Facebook starting now.

12 hours from now...

she is flying back and we are going to have some 'sexy-time'.....

she can use my 'lens' for her 'camera'... if you know what i mean.
then together gether get 'flash'... if you know what i mean.
get into my 'mini' and take some 'pictures'... if you know what i mean.
pictures of 'machines'..in the 'workshop'... if you know what i mean.
all the 'grinding' and 'hammering' and 'welding'... if you know what i mean.
the outcome should be 'satisfiying'.. if you know what i mean.

'just when i think' moments...

its not fair when you cant deal with the fact that i can deal with the fact.

....and i meant every single word of it.

how does it feel like being a leftie..

The left side is often associated with awkwardness and clumsiness, besides faggot, no other leftie i know is clumsy. teehee..

In ancient China, the left has been the "bad" side. The adjective "left"means "improper". For instance, the phrase "left path" stands for illegal or immoral means. that explains why my grandma always hit me with a chopstick everytime i eat.


things i hate being a leftie..

paintball guns; the reason i didnt pick up this sport, it didnt feel rightwhen i rest the gun on my shoulder. plus, needing to wear the head gearwhich requires me to use contact lens to get my eye sight is a big 'NO'.

golf clubs; fugken swings. no matter how hard i try, it just feels weird taking the shot,and getting a left-handed set and stand on the opposite direction with everyone elsemakes it weird-er.
knife; if you cook a lot, you notice some bloody knife is for right-handed people. when you slice, it feels like you`re grinding through a block of rubber and the stuff willend up looking like minced meat rather than thin sliced.

mouse; computer was introduced back in the 90`s where i need to cross my hands to use thekeyboard and mouse coz the mouse cord is too short to pull over to my left hand, and if you noticed,all of the computer shop arranged the mouse on the right side and the pattern fits onto your right.initially, i wanted to make a difference but only to realised that there is no left handed mouse in the market back then.

scissors; pain in the arse. you all right handers try cutting using your left hand, or go buy aleft hand scissors and try cutting it with your right hand! fugkas...

writing; the worst of all muthafugkas.. since young, i used to waste a lot of books when i write cozi never fill it up fully in writing coz i need to leave a few space for my hand to rest down the bookto start writing coz the binding on the book always get into my way. if i dont, it will fug up my writing,making it look like a 3 year old trying real hard to write something. did cross my mind that if i lift my hands up a little, it might help but it ended up even worse, its like trying to write using my leg instead.and not to mention leaving the smeared smudge as you are writing, stamping your ink over the alreadywritten words, making it extremely difficult to read. and sometimes, as you are writing, you need to liftyour hand to recall what you have wrote to make sure your answer still relates to the question. lastly, ifyou`re a full time leftie, wearing a nice watch while writing is not a very good idea. trust me..

only put my right hand to good use when i wipe my ass with it..... ooooooooooooooooooo

randomly bored..

just when i think its just a chapter of my life..

whats next? that is the question that has been playing in my mind lately. my 5-year-plan is coming to an end and ive crossed out most of it but yet i feel hollow. should i plan for my next 5 years or stay low and go with the flow? they say life`s a challenge but who/what am i challenging at? myself? what the fug for? why the fug for? in the end of the day, i am the one, the only one that is going to judge. at this very moment, i am ideally a catch but there is no one catching. im like a dog chasing my own tail, running in circles.. so eager for that bite and once i get it, there is no satisfaction but to let it go and wonder how long is this has to go on.

i so want to find my true self but dont want to know once im there. what difference does it make anymore? how many 5 years more i got to plan? how many 5 years im going to have?

im in a stage where i dont know where i belong, an outcast, in my own world. i love Malaysia but i dont want to be stuck here forever. im in love with Melbourne but do i belong there in the first place? i want to go around the world but how long is it going to take me to settle down? i want to settle down, have kids, spend quality time with my other half, cook for them, see my kids grow up.

where? when? how? who?

who am i going to turn to when im at a crossroad? what am i going to do? who is going to give me advise? is my every decision right? what if im wrong? who is going to be there in the end of the day and tell me "i told you so"?

if i had one wish.. i would like to have lunch with my dad. just lunch. just once. i would trade everything i have for this.

just when i thought there is no one left for me to cry over for.. as much as i hate to say this, at times i want to be so wrong and have someone to turn to. i know lifes never fair but why the fuck shits always happen on me? i am already struggling to survive being alone. its not fair you left me just like that and let me bear it all this by myself.. how much more i got to give in order to get back in return?

ive learn almost every damm thing the hard way.. for one fugken time, just once... please.. let me have all this and i`d die happily. its good to be emotional and break down once in a while.

today`s special

celebrated halloween with my Nikon

woke up today and i feel like...

i want to give up my job and pick up cooking. Yes/No?

first shots

My New Love......

new place, new life, new lover....... ppffttt............

This is the main reason i was missing in action lately.

sun, sea, sand and kids.

Went to Cherating with the kids last weekend and it was tiring, but satisfying to handle 13 kids running around the beach and for the first time in my life, i let myself go completely and just have some fun and the weekend away from electronics, emails and facebook. i`d even leave my phone in the resort. but there was no breath-taking moments, its just what everyone else normally does. sit under the tree, dip in the water, beach soccer, ATV-ing and kayaking.

the kids mostly run around the beach and jump into the water once in a while. in order to improve their maths, i`d carry one by one into the water and give them questions where if they cant answer or answer wrongly, i`ll take a long dip into the water. then went beach-walking with the girls to collect some sea shells in the evenings. you know, all this while i know i liked kids but i didnt know i am good with them.

i think all the kids and volunteers shit in their pants when i went topless. the tattoo on the back was still okay but i think the one on my arm that freaked them. maybe that`s why they listened to me.

on the second night, we had barbeque by the beach and campfire accompanied with guitars, sing alongs and alcohol for the adults nonetheless. i loved it, the kids loved it. then i stayed back till dawn to see the sunrise, dazing away thinking and having those "what if.." moments which almost took my breath away when i was swinging on the hammock until i was ambushed by the little rascals and flipped my over from behind, slapping me back to reality where sand went in my mouth, ass and balls; exactly how reality feels like... itchy, uncomfortable and fustrated.

the 'bright' side.

i am a....

ambitious
argumentative
brilliant
broad-minded
businesslike
capable
careful
cautious
charming
cheerful
clear-thinking
clever
competitive
confident
conservative
considerate
consistent
cool
co-operative
determined
easygoing
efficient
emotional
energetic
fair-minded
far-sighted
firm
flexible
forgiving
frank
friendly
generous
gentle
helpful
honest
humorous
imaginative
independent
intellectual
intelligent
kind
light-hearted
likeable
logical
loyal
mature
mild
moderate
modest
motivated
natural
obliging
open-minded
opportunistic
optimistic
organised
original
outgoing
patient
pleasant
polite
practical
progressive
quick
rational
realistic
reflective
relaxed
reliable
resourceful
responsible
self-confident
self-controlled
sensible
sensitive
serious
sharp-witted
sincere
sociable
spontaneous
stable
steady
strong-minded
supportive
thoughtful
tolerant
tough
trustworthy
unassuming
understanding

...kind of person.

just when you think you are vain..

So far, this has been a non productive year and there isn`t much highlights in my life..

On top of my head..i`ve tried;

- eating weird delicacies.

- been to China. nuff said.

- dating?

- to relax like everyone else.

- went all the way to Singapore just to cheer emmy up.

- stay awake for 72 hours straight.

- spending hours to dress up for a nightout.

- been sober.

- quitting smoking.... still trying. (note: tried)

- tutoring for the homeless.

- went for haircut twice a month.

... and i just discovered that i love myself so much i am telling people that i love myself to people that love themselves as much as i love myself too!

Bow chicah bow bow...................... wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaaa

i have been classified as obsessive-compulsive disorder.

i like to clean stuff. once i start cleaning, i keep going on and on and on...
i plan too much.
sometimes, im undecided, on food, on clothes and on where to go.
i think im a perfectionist.
i like soya bean, especially from the bottle.
i never liked loud places.
i never liked to get drunk.
i never liked to smoke.
i never like fast cars.
i like to read.
i cant read without glasses.
i hate wearing glasses when i read.
i dare not break the law.
im addicted to work.
i like vanilla ice cream.
i got brown eyes.
i hate driving.
i got no sense of fashion on clothes and anything else that requires fashion.
i realised im no mind reader.
i always wondered how does it feel like to be in the limelight.
i prefer rain than a sunny day.
i can no longer perform in soccer.
i hate to go to bed alone.
i hate to wake up alone.
im getting tired living in a suitcase.
i love kids.
i snore.
i sleep on the left side of the bed.
i love to eat.
i got trouble mingle with younger crowd.
i dont talk much.
i think im surrounded by idiots, all the time.
i like to put my hands in front of the air cond when im driving.
i think im hopelessly romantic.
sometimes, i talk to myself. and the fridge. the dog. the car. period.
i look 5 years younger than my age.
i have been in love before.
i think my best friend is sick. mentally. permanently.
i love cakes.
i`ve stopped celebrating my own birthdays.
i click easier with people who drinks guinness.
i hate horror.
i dont go to the movies anymore.
i hate hospitals.
i am allergic to dogs.
i dont swim.
i hate to swim.
i cant swim.
i love cooking.
i worry too much.
i am easily amused. Not.
i actually enjoy housework.
i secretly sort out M&M`s according to colours and eat them accordingly.

good start of the month..

Great! I just lurveeeeeeeeee September!!!

Note: this is wayyyyyy after the rain stop and subsiding!

another what-the-fuck of the day...

need i say more???

what the fuck??

i got spew all over my G Star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

missing pieces...

today is exactly 4 years since i received a jigsaw puzzle. :)

i started off with " This might sound a bit rude but i got no other intention but to know you. Is it okay with you? I`ll promise i`ll be good. Its justin by the way."

you know, somehow... i remember this day,next month and every month of it. and i appreciate it, heaps.

and you said this before to me, and today i want to let you know the same;

"I`m sorry i cant do great things but ill try to do small things in great ways. You do meant a lot to me and thank you for all that you`ve been to me... Love you lots and lots and lots and lots........"





just so you know, i framed that puzzle up and the frame dropped on me, of all days... today. scary.

Singapore

a very expensive weekend i would say..
not that i got a lot of money to begin with anyway.

there`s 3 main attractions; hot chicks, hot chicks and more hot chicks.

its very rare to see the whole country filled with 'plastics' walking around.

0o0o0o0o0o0oooooooooo.....................

shopping was breath-taking. they make Malaysia look like pussies.

almost everyone is holding a bag on the street. big brands!

Singaporean`s spending power is just like our Malaysian government. Simply spend only..

met up with emmoline the non alcoholic.

she brought me to Zouk. downed me with sour plum vodka. again and again.

and some bak kut teh after that..... that looks something like this;

taste like the pig intestine`s pepper soup. different. cant complain. when you are drunk and hungry.

Signs i need to get out more.. really

Top 5 winners:

number 5: i have both the time, and the inclination, to iron my undies.











number 4: my idea of a great promotion is completing a level on Metal Gear Solid 4.










number 3: talking to the fridge for dinner options.










number 2: i know the name of the pizza boy, and his shift for the month.










and number 1 is....................................................





got really popular with the garbage/recycling collector because of the number of wine bottles and beer cans i hand over every week.

just when i think ive forgotten...

for me, this is as close as proud can get.

just when you think life`s getting better..

of all people, why do you have to be the one that pissed me off?
you can do whatever you want; take my friends for granted, used them and making life difficult for everyone around you like they owe you. you`re so self centered and want everyone to adore you. you want to be in the limelight? i`ll give you some, you fugken bitch!

when you used my friends to pick you up for drinks..im fine
when you used my friends to pick you up for drinks then abandon them to chill with your other mates..im fine
when you drink my drinks.. im fine
when you ask my friends to wait up for you till the night ends..im fine

but why the fuck do you have to do it everytime?
why the fuck do you need them when you already have your own plans?
why the fuck do you need them when you already have your own plans, without them?
why the fuck do you even bother asking?

we dont mind buying you drinks..
we dont mind going out of the way to pick you up for drinks..
i dont mind honestly..

but why on earth do you have to claim that my best friend...... yours?!??

YOU FUGKEN COCK SUCKING TWO FACED SELF CENTERED MOTHERFUGKEN CHEAP ASS CUNT, I HOPE YOU FUGKEN BURN IN FUGKEN HELL, YOU FUGKEN USELESS PIECE OF SHIT!

you try too hard, you fugken wannabe.. i wish i could just pluck all of your barbie doll`s head and shaft it up your sorry arse.

GET A LIFE!, YOU FUGKEN BITCH!!!

and oh...please, dont tell anyone that i know you, ever..

just when you think there`s anyone to put the blame on..

Everytime i reach out for something i care about, fate comes along and snatches it away.

and they say weekends are the best..

Last weekend, i slept through Saturday and Sunday, waking up feeling like shit on Monday, sober on Tuesday and bored on Wednesday.


Weekends used to be fun...

This is how a perfect weekend should look like. feel like.

i bumped into my good ole` buddies..

Back in the days where both of `em satisfy me every day. Oh.. i dont know why i tried to let you go in the first place. Spent 3 days catching up while grannie starts her journey to the other side.



Im mourning...... Fuck Off!

Grandma..

Two days ago, you looked at me and hold my hand so tight trying to tell me something but im sorry i didnt get you. I just want to say "I love you, dont be scared and take care". I`m sure dad will take good care of you on the other side. Thank you for raising me up to be what i am today.



Now that you too are gone, I dont have to cry, for anyone, anymore..



Love always,
Your eldest grandson.

just when you think everyone is still in Malaysia..

Jade..........................................................................

Jadeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..............................................

I am going to miss you so.........................

You`re my most weird, disgustingly sexy, adorable bitch i love to hang out with!

You entertain me, mentally......

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and physically....

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Please dont come back a Kiwi! or with one, for the record.

China Flashbacks..

China Pizza - Good Food

Baby Lobster - Weird Food








IV Drop - Too Much Food

And when you had a bad day - Drink Happy Juice

And always remember - Protect Circum Stance Being with Me

just when i think im going to jail..

I went to some seafood joint sonewhere in China and i as soon as i stepped in....

POLICE COME!!! POLICE COME!!!!
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after all those hand gestures and a lot of explaining....
it is PLEASE COME! PLEASE COME!

iphone - in house joke

Whahaahahaahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhaahhaahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.......................................

just when you think its a joke...

First Candidate:

Typical Mainland; very fair, quite tall, long hair, long fugly nails, talks a lot, very loud, easily amused, clingy, hairy, no table manners, like flowery clothings, fugly handbag, likes to party...

damm.............



or is it just me being choosy?



all i know is that the way she looks at me........she so want to PDW me. wahahaha...

just when i think i would not have to answer to anyone anymore..

Big Yan: You want to marry a China girl?
Me: ??.............. No. Do i have to?
Big Yan: Why not? You already got a girlfriend?
Me: No....yes....maybe.....dunno

Big Yan: Its not good to play around.
Me: Right....
Big Yan: In China, everyone your age is either pregnant or married by now.
Me: Good.
Big Yan: I arrange someone for you.
Me:.......... (i think i need to go through my contract again)...

When he say that, he wasnt joking at all. Straight away he called someone and talk in super-fast-forward mandarin, or what i think it is..

Here, you can actually choose a wife, just like going to the market only.. winks!

just when you think you know what pain is..

I just had another tattoo. A lot of people commented on it. Personally, honestly, i dont like it and i dont think i dont have much of a choice but to live with it, like any other decisions i`ve made. I should have realised it when i did my first one but i was at the phase where you know what you`re going to get into and yet you still go for it moments.


Cass: Does it hurt?
Me: It hurts so much it feels so good.
Cass: Like sex?
Me: Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy better.....................
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Picture is not available here. Ask me if you really want to see.

just when you think you`ve seen everything..

Have anyone seen a real question mark?









































I know i have....










































dont ask me, i am as clueless like anyone else..

just when you think its not possible..

LOOK MUM!

I am blogging in China, the country with no freedom of speech!

o0O0o0O0o0o0o00O0o0O0o0O0o0O0o0o0O0o0O0o0O0...................

just when you think i............

happy birthday chubby...