is in search for The One..

On my 100th post, i wanna share some rather more private & intimate details with you.



I`ve been keeping my options wide. Some stayed, some come and go, some just came and doesnt wanna go. I have been dating for quite some time, simultaneously and yet it still cant match my descriptions.



The current one that i`m seeing now, she`s great but it`s the smaller details...



1 - I like her to manja me from time to time, but she manja`s all the time.

2 - She like to hold hold hands when going out, but i like to hold my phone more.

3 - I prefer when she stroke the back of my hair whilst watching tv, but she does that more when im working from home, sending emails just to distract me from something else.

4 - i like it when she calls me on random and ask me what im doing. She tak layan.

5 - I love coffee, and she likes to drink from my cup. I dont like.

6 - I like to rest my head on her lap. She likes to rest on mine.

7 - I like to nibble the ear and neck. She dont like.

8 - She always misplaced her phone. I hate to look for phones.

9 - She likes to look thorough my phone details. I like the insecurity.

10 - I like to cook, she likes to eat but doesnt want to do the dishes.

11 - Im very very particular, she`s the total opposite.

12 - She like to club. sigh.

13 - She read magazines. I read hers. She dont like.

14 - i read novels. I make her read novels. also she dont like.

15 - We both like to sleep on the left side of the bed.

16 - She likes her M&M`s mixed!

17 - Im a morning person, she sleep in the morning.

18 - I got no problems with authority. She does!

19 - She likes me formal. I like my jeans and pasar malan tee.

20 - I like her short hair. Her`s panjang manjang.

21 - She already told me that she love me. I stammered.

22 - She dont let me drive her Bentley.


Fug me. Im picky!

The Reign of Justin - episode one

Katrina - you are lucky number one.

its about time i step back into the single`s market again and deliver what everyone has been expecting.

tonight, imma use the Dolce&Gabbana suit.

..is so bored here

...while my best friend is rolling around on Versace bedsheet! fugken hell..

today: content

i feel funny today. i feel delicate. i feel idle. i feel all alone, in a country filled with strangers. i am not sad and i cant find one good reason to feel happy. no matter where i am now, where i`ll be tomorrow, or where im going to be in the future.. im just a person living in a suitcase. someone once told me that im emotionless, a person without expression. that im weird. i act weird. talk weird. i miss those days. least back then there was actually someone that noticed me.

today.. im soulless.

a fool`s fooled?

Today, of all days i got to make a decision that i could hardly resist.

It all started with a bright, cool breezy almost perfect day. I was as usual with my hoodie, signature 2B pencil parked on my left ear and holding one too many files, one leg kicking.. until i was called in for a meeting by both China and Australia bosses.

Everything was going well, talked about work stuff then out of the sudden, they told me that i got promoted, sort of... again. I am now currently the sales manager, marketing manager and the new addition; brand manager. How...the fug did that just happened? How the fug am i supposed to juggle all of them, at the same bloody time? Now i am not just a manager, I'm the manager.

The title is getting too much, the workload is as much as the title sounds.

Fine. I think i can handle a little bit of a challenge.. but;

1. with this position comes big sacrifice, which means i have to renew my contract (by the way is due this June) for another couple more years.
2. because of the above, i can`t go back to Melbourne, as planned. According to boss, i have to put that thought on hold for the time being.
3. my best friend is gonna be so heartbroken.
4. i is gonna be so heartbroken, literally.

The tricky part of all this is;

1. if i did good in this position, means it gives me less chance to get back to Australia;
2. but if i fug this up, they might have the impression that I'm incompetent, maybe fired;
3. if i do it for the sake of job wise, i don't get satisfaction of feeling good coz I'm a perfectionist!

but the only good side of it is;

1. more salary.
2. that's about it..

and the down side..

1. stay back, living in this horrible country, all alone.
2. 2/3 time spent on work
3. bored
4. all of the above, again and again.

I should have rejected this position when i had the chance to, but the temptation of being in control. Argh darn, i just got sucked into the world full of conspiracies.

I think i deserve a drink to myself, to congratulate, drown my sorrows away and cry myself to bed again at the same time.

I feel like shit and this is the saddest day of my life and i wish it was all just a prank on April Fool`s Day.

Question of the day: What would you do?

By the way, did i mentioned that im a junior graphic designer for wheels as well. fugken awesome!